Canabalt: the movie

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sunface
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Canabalt: the movie

Post by sunface » Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:04 am

Anyone here remember Canabalt? Since it was released I've kept it on my iPhone and every now and then enjoy some great run-on-rooftops-away-from-aliens fun. Just look at this iconic image from Canabalt!
17gugxh7umeusjpg.jpg
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Notice in particular the giant robot silhouettes in the background.

Then look at this!

Captive State!

In particular, here's the first image from that page:
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And then note that the movie is about a guy running around a lot, after an alien invasion.

I'm telling you man... Video game movies are the FUTURE man. This great game, Canabalt, has the BEST story! This needs to be converted into a movie. NEEDS, man. I'm doing a Hollywood Producer voice there. Go back and re-read this paragraph with that voice and you'll be like, SUNFACE NAILED IT.

Anyway here's a link to the trailer... WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T THIS STUPID FORUM SUPPORT "YOUTUBE" TAGS?!?! WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THIS JOKE?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i68xCzI406A
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sunface
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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by sunface » Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:07 am

OK while we're on the subject of Bullshit: the movie, has anyone seen the trailer to "Brightburn"? Check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6eB0JT1DI4

OK, now that you've seen that (you watched it right?), is this not 100% "What if Superman were... EVIL!??!"

It's exactly the fucking superman story. Family wants a baby. One crashes in a rocket from the sky. They raise him as a normal kid, but he has powers. Including super speed, heat vision, blah blah. The amount of imagination that went into this is startling. Only difference in this one is that the kid seems to be some kind of asshole.

Hollywood Producer Voice: HEY! I know what the kids like nowadays! Superman! Except he needs to be EDGY! Man of Steel was OK, but not EDGY enough! What if we just make him a monster? Kids like those monsters! Also Warner Bros. owns Superman, and they're litigious... I got it! SUPERMAN IS EVIL! YES! Cut print! *does cocaine*
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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by Android » Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:36 pm

Good call on the Canabalt movie, haha! Canabalt the game is actually decent.

Brightburn seems like a crappier, less inventive version of Superman: Red Son. Now, that's a movie I'd like to see.

Speaking of Brightburn... Netflix's Bright was really embarrassing. I thought I might enjoy the Shadowrun vibe, but nope -- it's embarrassing crap, and it's a movie that doesn't really think it needs to explore its imaginary universe. Ok, Orcs are the new blacks and Elves are the new elites. Let's get them to shoot the shit out of each other, DONE, I WANT MY PAYCHECK. Tellingly enough, when the bad reviews started piling up, Netflix claimed quality in TV shows is not of the utmost importance to them. It shows, Netflix... it shows!

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Banjo
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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by Banjo » Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:32 pm

Netflix's Bright was really embarrassing.
I thought it was genius. Casting Will Smith as the white guy is a brilliant move. Black guy plays white and the orc makeup is essentially blackface on the white actor. Nice. Very nice.

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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by Android » Fri Dec 14, 2018 4:23 pm

Really? I hated it with a passion. I found it embarrassing, boring and aimless.

On the other hand, did I ever tell you that I watched GLOW based on your recommendation and loved it? I think I liked all the characters, not only the obviously brilliant Sam Sylvia. This is puzzling because I think wrestling is silly (I am a bit in agreement with Debbie's douchebag husband) but still found this show pretty cool and managed to binge-watch it. I wanted all the gals to succeed!

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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by Banjo » Sat Dec 15, 2018 7:51 am

Really?
Yeah. You need to be on the correct meta-level to appreciate the fact that Will Smith plays White and Orcs are blackface, everything else was complete shite but that really, really was a genius move by the creators.

And yeah, GLOW is cool.

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sunface
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Re: Canabalt: the movie

Post by sunface » Sun Dec 16, 2018 7:18 am

Agreed about GLOW, it's a great show. Wrestling is awesome.

I haven't watched Bright and couldn't get past the trailer. Then I heard the reviews. I'll check it out as I seem to have some free time coming up...
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